Life does seem to be going in circles for me these days. I closed this blog because I couldn't seem to think about anything interesting and/or positive to write about. Originally I was using the blog as a coping journal, and that is what I am returning it to. Other than one notice on Twitter, I am not going to make it too public. Note to self: I write a lot, just pages and pages of stuff, but very little it online for others to read. What deep down need do I have to cope via blogspot?
2009 was not my favorite year, especially health wise. I am looking forward to 2010 with a new attitude, almost excited. I have never made resolutions, have enough guilt in life without adding breaking a New Year's promise to myself. I am debating if I should cancel the appointment with the very expensive doctor for the even more expensive tests. Note to self: It's a you're dammed if you do, dammed if you don't situation. Have one week to make final decision.
I would like to know what is going on inside the sides and back of my head. Some days it feels like my skull is coming disconnected to my neck. I would like to know why when I shake my head it feels and sounds like one is shaking a can of corn. Also, is the mental stuff real, dementia, or nerves? Or simply old age. I have learned I cannot read too many sites and blogs about RA, OA, etc. When I do that my aches and pains get worst. Like the Good Book and all motivational gurus say, "You are what you think about".